A poster promoting his song.

I Want Candy (later changed to I Need Candy) is a song written by "MC Pee Pants" in order to send subliminal messages to listeners. By creating this song, MC Pee Pants attempted to "jack up" his listeners on candy, and use their hyper-active blood sugar to power a drill that burrows directly into Hell, releasing demons upon the earth. His icon is an 11-year old boy, stylishly dressed with candy; Wearing a smartie-laced necklace with a candy cane hanging from it, a gumdrop bracelet, and red-and-white-striped hat. All while carrying lollipops, pixie sticks, and holding 3 different kinds of candy bars in his coat pocket. His normal clothing is also striped in several different colors. This icon, however, is only a fake used to mask the writer's real appearance. The song is really written and sung by MC Pee Pants, an eight-foot spider wearing a diaper and shower cap, originally created by Dr. Weird to be his "beautiful" Fiancé. Unknown to the listener, the song's lyrics and catchy tunes repeat compulsively within one's mind. Putting it colloquially, it becomes stuck in your head, until the song eventually becomes addictive and makes you crave candy and eat impulsively without adequate forethought. the lyric "Mess up the mix, mix up the mess, come on down yo, here's the address at 6-1-2 Wharf Avenue." lures the listener to that exact location, where MC Pee Pants awaits to jump you, and forcibly strap you to a throne.


The song is sung by rap artist MC Chris for the Season 1 episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force, MC Pee Pants. The songs "I Want Candy" and "I Need Candy" share the exact same lyrics. 

MC Chris:
I want candy, bubble gum, or taffy
Skip to the sweet shop with my sweetheart Sandy
Got my pennies saved so I'm her sugar daddy
I'm her Hume Cronyn and she's my Jessica Tandy, I want candy!

Put it in a pile,
split it with my bitty 50/50 down the line
kinda like close encounters of the cavity kind
I'm talkin' licorice kisses, talkin' chocodile smiles.

I want candy, I got a sugar tooth
put on your shin guards, Sandy, 'cause i wanna knock boots
lick my peppermint stick til' the lollipop droops
gumdrop that don't stop til' its licked knot loose!

candy... candy...

MC Chris:
I need candy bubble gum, and taffy
get in my way punk, you're gonna get ya ass beat, nasty.
Do it till your dad sees, embarrass your whole family
Just 'cause you came between a kid and his candy

I need candy, any kind'll do
Don't care if it's nutritious or "FDA approved"
It's gonna make me spaz like bobcats on booze
A hyperactive juice that only I can produce"

"And fuel a giant drill, bore straight into Hell
Releasing ancient demons from their sleep forever spell
So they can walk upon the earth, and get resituated
And Hock the diet pills that MC Pee Pants has created.

I need candy, want some candy, eat candy til' I'm dead
I'll kill you for some candy, give me candy, candy head!
Where you keepin' all the candy?!
Who made you candy king?!
If you don't give me some candy, I will make the ladies sing!

Candy, in the morning, candy on the way to school
Candy, at school, at lunch in the afternoon
Candy, in school, on your way home from school
Candy, at diner, at dinner, in bed!

MC Chris:
Mess up the mix, mix up the mess
Come on down yo, here's the address
At 6-1-2 Wharf Avenue,

Right next to the gentlemen's club.